Raison d’etre

Thinking about life and shiz. What are we here for? What am I here for? Someone told me, “Cause the world needs you. Cause you have a chance to make things better for everyone.” And I said, “I’m just one of a billion people pushing a car that’s already running.” The world will evolve with or without you or me. People are far too conceited into thinking that their existence matters so much. So I come back to what I was pondering on.. It’s just so hard, and so tiring to live. Every day, hour, and minute; we make a conscious decision to live on, and for what? What’s so bad about the alternative? Especially when things are so so bad..

I know I sound like I’m whining. Especially when I’m in a better position than probably billions of other people living on the planet right now. Actually, what usually keeps me sane on moments when I ponder on things like this is the fact that I know a LOT more people are suffering far worse than I am: child prostitutes, war prisoners, terminally ill patients; there are a lot of people who experience worse but continue on living, continuing on making that conscious choice to live and go on. I’m sure they have their own reasons and I’m glad they have such strong ones; to make them continue on despite all the stuff they’re faced with. In my case though, I’m not so sure. Why do I live? Why do I continue on with this life? Why do I exist? What’s my raison d’etre? My reason for being? Apparently, it’s not something I know of just yet.